I should report you to HR but I have a better idea

So, blackmail's a bitch, isn't it? And I just caught you looking at gay porn. And this is

really bad for productivity at the office. So, either you're going to play my game, or

I'm going to take you to HR and report you for being a perv that jerks off at his desk.

So I figured out a perfect solution. You see this here? This is my new little tool to keep

perverts at work and lying. So, you're going to take it, and you're going to put it on